Life’s About Comebacks, Not Winning and Losing

My 13 year old Blair is not a natural athlete.

Wrestling comes very hard.

He’s horrible at gymnastics.

And lacks flexibility…

These aren’t the best traits for a grappler.

But he does have a unique set of superpowers:

He’s persistent, has laser focus and listens well.

I assured him that those are the perfect traits of a champion, win or lose.  And wrestling can hone them.

So, three years ago, we set out on the long road of trying to place at “middle school state.”  Unlike high school, there are no divisions.  All the schools compete in one mega-bracket.  It’s the milestone to chase if you want to have any chops in high school.

We started young…

I signed him up as a 5th grader.  After his first season…Blair went 1-2.

An elementary kid vs a middle school one presents a lot of challenges.  But the physical differences are the toughest to swallow, which is perfect for honing “super powers.”

There were fits of tears and frustration.

He wanted to quit.

Ahhh…perfect.  Pushing kids to the limit is the best way to develop character and confidence.  There’s far more to see about themselves and life on the edge, compared to the safe middle ground of never competing, staring at your phone and sitting on your ass.

“You want to quit?”

“Because you are losing?”

“Yes,” he muttered through sweat and tears.

“You should be more afraid of not trying than losing!”

Then 6th grade came. We signed up as an unattached wrestler, again.

Same results, one win, two losses.

Blair reminded me, “that’s two seasons of training and two summers of camps, to go home a loser….”

“No, that’s two years of learning how to keep fighting even when losing!”

Anyone can fight while winning.  It’s getting back up that nobody can do!  When you master that, you’re ahead of 99% of the people who quit in life.”

You’re a lot closer now, congrats!”

…people quit going to school because they don’t get the grades they expected.

They quit going to work because they don’t like their boss…

They quit their marriages…

They quit on math, science, art…

The quit on everything!

“Blair, the world is filled with quitters – people who are ready to fight only when winning, but crumble into tiny pieces when the going gets tough. They don’t know how to fight when losing. And that’s when you need to be fighting the most!”

In an era where “pussification” is celebrated, we’re losing our best fighters to the weaker status quo.

Life’s about comebacks, not winning and losing.

“That’s why you’re in wrestling Blair – to hone your superpowers while learning how to fight when losing, not how to win at wrestling.  As a wrestler, your job is to become obsessed with doing your best in the face of abject failure.”

“The scariest person on and off the mat is the one who never lets losing phase them and just keeps moving forward…they’re the zombie who drags you into the blood rounds no matter how bad they’re getting beat.  They’re the person who’s always in life’s face no matter how many times they’ve been challenged, scared, disappointed, stolen from, let down, or just plane beat down.  The wrestler learns to lose while being obsessed with winning.”

This year, as a seventh grader, we aimed to place at state, yet again.”

Even more committed than the years prior, he now had several hurdles to get over.  And that meant learning to sacrifice comfort.

There was the intense, fire-like pain of cauliflower ear that kept him up many nights…

There was a sprained wrist that had to be wrapped, taped and carefully monitored…

There was a black eye…

Then there was the massive hematoma due to a small fracture on the cheekbone…

Opportunities for quitting were abundant.  He had to make choices.

Are you injured or are you hurt?

“If you’re injured, you sit out.  If you’re hurt, you tape it, cover it, and suck it up to keep practicing. After all, you’ve learned to fight even when losing.  You’re ready for it!”

“If you take time off, you miss the chance to win or place at the state tournament.”

There were tears, arguments and all-out anger. But the commitment necessitated the sacrifice.

He chose to fight on and laced up for every practice.

And with that, he blazed the brackets at this year’s state tournament to earn a 6th place medal. He still lost some close matches by points, pushing him down the winners’ bracket…but he never quit.

And this year he has a title to show for it.

It’s not bragging rights. It’ll be forgotten.  But the lesson and the ability to keep fighting when losing will last forever. That’s going to come in handy as an adult…whether he’s a father, construction worker, teacher, biologist, pilot, poet, Nobel Laureate or just a smart a#s who studies chemistry. 

And as every wrestling seasons passes, he’ll be honing his super powers.

It’s the same in health…it takes some sacrifice!  You can’t just waddle into a doctors office, take every med that comes down the pharmaceutical pipeline and expect to be healthy!  Users of Actos, Avandia and Vioxx serve as an important lesson.  The FDA showed that the combined mortality count exceeded 200,000.  Avandia alone can “put you in a hospital or in a cemetery,” warned FDA whistleblower Dr David Graham.

Millions of people are losing their health and longevity to meds courtesy of willful ignorance.  As pharmaceutical advertising has grown, complacency and logic have waned.  Outside of emergency medicine, pharmaceutical tyranny is at an all time.  Most people will get knocked down, but will be unable to pick themselves up.  Learn to fight back with 3 Worst Meds.